My Struggles with the 12 step program
Hi All,
Decided to post here after a somewhat turbulent 2018 - I began going to AA meetings a year ago... attended for about 8 months but actually stopped going for a few reasons.
Initially it helped.. but while I managed to stay sober for a while.. kept relapsing. I would try to work the steps over and over.. it got to the point were i became severely depressed and actually going to the meetings made this worse. In the end, my sponsor would tell me 'You arent ready yet'.
I felt a huge amount of 'learned helplessness' during the meetings.. and frankly, I found certain things which were said by the older members (who have a lot of sober time) to be utterly depressing.. one example is 'if we dont drink.. all we have is a daily reprieve, a stay of execution'.... this sense of doom just destroyed me. I'm not super young but, I'm 30... so I was one of the younger members of that group. Hoping for any feedback because I'd like to give it another shot and hopefully make it work this time...
Thanks!