I think you need to have a certain amount of faith that staying sober will work out, even when you get that rush of fear from feeling like things might be getting out of control.
Those fearful moments are what support is made for - use all you have - AA here, family, whatever. You don't have to face any of this alone :_)
the feeling I get now of my life being in control is not self will run riot - it's the end product of a lot of work. I've earned it - and you can too
D