So, in less than 24 hours, I will be face to face with "the guy"...and this will pretty much determine if he a) cares about me on any level and wants to have some ongoing contact with me or b) doesn't really want to publicly acknowledge me and just wants to let it go, at least for now. I was NOT anticipating this at ALL. He lives 8 hours away and I have given up on moving there because of my job offer, and I won't be traveling anytime soon, either, so I have mentally shelved the entire thing...until...

he is going to be speaking at at an event in a city about four hours from me. It's feasible to drive down and back in the same day. Gas is $50 (I can sell plasma for $50). I can eat in the car and the event/parking is free. So...why not? It's Wednesday. I have clothes to wear, makeup, etc. I don't have to spend any money here. I just have to get there REALLLLLY early because it's first come first serve. But...I'm not working, what else am I doing? Lol.

So. This is it. I'm not mentioning that I will be there. I want to see the exact look on his face when he looks across the room and sees me sitting there. THAT is worth a million dollars, because that is the moment of truth I've been waiting a year for. That will tell me all I need to know.

My gut reaction is that he is, on some level, interested in me, but he isn't going to act on it, because ""someone like me" isn't going to be good for his image. This is harsh, but this is life. I can deal with that. I know what baggage I bring. I've been THRILLED lately, literally walking around on Cloud 9 about going back to my old house and taking this job, so I have invested NOTHING in this trip emotionally. ZERO. Every fiber of my being is committed to going back to (My Old Town) and living the life I started to live a year ago. If this is the end of this chapter in my life, I'm completely fine with it. I feel it is time to just KNOW, one way or another.