I can relate to that. It's extra hard to stay off it when everybody seems to be doing it and enjoying it. That you look like a fool for not being able to enjoy it like everybody else does. I have no idea for how long you've smoked but my experience is that in the end it makes almost everybody depressed and paranoid. That is kind of a universal story in all our quitting threads. It worked out great in the beginning but after a while side-effects developed and in the end there's only the addiction.
I cannot decide for you when you can really take a step away from it. I'm hesitant of advice, not wanting to come off as if I know it all. After all, I smoked daily for pretty much 22 years and it cost me numerous attempts to finally give up and make it stick. As you may have read in my thread, I sometimes feel I am still a long long way from home. Your story does however sound very familiair to my own experience and thought process over the years. In the end I came to the conclusion that no matter what I tried it wasn't going to make me the happiest man on the planet. The longing for was so much better that the indulging in.
I tried everything from biological outdoor weed, the strongest weed The Netherlands has to offer, hash, vaping, you name it. In the end, if it has stopped working for you at some point there will probably not be a magic turnaround. That's a hard fact to accept, especially in a place where it's just become legal.
Do what's best for you, and by all means vent on SR. It helped me a great deal and I am hoping it will help you as well.