I'm an "AA guy" and the AA program makes a very definite and important (important to me...and important to AA) distinction between an alcoholic and a "problem drinker" (though they use the term "hard drinker"). The difference revolves around power, choice and/or control and doesn't have much of anything to do with the amount consumed nor the drama/problems that occur in the life of the person in question. Using their definition, there will be hard drinkers who have worse consequences and who drink more than an alcoholic.
The difference, as I mentioned above, revolves around the ability to stop, stay stopped, and assume a lifestyle that's enjoyable. With this difference, the solutions for each person, hard drinker vs. alcoholic, are also different.
Now I'm not saying this IS THE WAY IT IS, but I'm just explaining that there could be a difference, that the solutions may be different depending upon which group one falls into and that maybe there should be a distinction made even though it may make some ppl feel uncomfortable that they maybe don't qualify as an alcoholic using AA's definition (lol, it's always been funny to my how upset some ppl get when they hear, as I'm working with them, that based upon what they're telling me they are not alcoholic but a hard drinker)
The hard drinker, or heavy drinker, will look like a real deal alkie to just about everyone, maybe even the person we're talking about. The key is this - given enough motivation, fear, worry of death, loss of freedom or what have you, they're able to stop their drinking and from there, they're able to establish a manner of living that they enjoy. They may need rehab, they may even go to some meetings for "support." They may take up yoga or hit the gym......or do any number of things to straighten their lives out but the bottom line is THEY ARE ABLE TO DO IT even though it may take some work and may not all be super-enjoyable. With the right help, support and motivation, this person can get well.
By contrast, the alcoholic referred to in AA, the one the AA program is designed to help, doesn't posses these same abilities. They want to get well, they'll do the same things described above but eventually, because they lack the power to see it through, they will drink again. Or, possibly worse than drinking again, they remain dry but suffer under the internal condition that AA also refers to as a spiritual malady - a condition that isn't treated by "not drinking." This person requires something more, something bigger than them, some additional source of power. When it gets right down to it, they need to not only change their actions but they also need an entire and complete internal change - one in which they experience personality change sufficient to bring about recovery from alcoholism. AA uses the term "spiritual awakening" to signify it. The idea came from psychologist William James via a book he'd written which Bill W. was studying during his last stay in detox (Varieties of Religious Experience). As such, AA's solution revolves around spirituality and conscious contact with each individuals personal conception of God. As it's written in the Big Book,
"What often takes place in a few months could seldom have been accomplished by years of self-discipline. With few exceptions our members find that they have tapped an unsuspected inner resource which they presently identify with their own conception of a Power greater than themselves. Most of us think this awareness of a Power greater than ourselves is the essence of spiritual experience. Our more religious members call it “God-consciousnes."
Now whether the OP, anyone here or even I choose to accept or believe in the spirituality stuff doesn't really matter. Whether ppl in the first group want to call themselves alcoholics to me doesn't really matter. What matters is the person with the problem needs to know and I need to know - assuming I'm the person working with the person trying to recover - because the solutions are VERY different and what works for one group absolutely, by definition, won't work for the other.