Davey, I just want to let you know that I am here, reading this, and support you. I know you think it's beyond your capability to go get help. I have a question for you. What if you call ahead of time and explain that you really want to come get help, but have this phobia. See if a hospital social worker could be waiting for you as soon as you walk in the door. Maybe just call the hospital and ask for a social worker. I know it's hard, but I really feel if you could face these fears and get some medical treatment it would make a huge difference in the quality of your life.