I am the #2. I have three little boys, 4, 2 & 3 mos. Everyday my husband leaves for work I wonder if he will come home and if he does what shape he will be in... he usually passes out somewhere between the side door and the living room. When the kids wake up they play on top of him, it takes about 30 minutes of their "wrestling with Daddy" before he wakes up.
Sometimes, he calls home drunk and sorry that he has missed all the buses and trains home. And, sometimes I wish that it was the police calling to tell me that he is dead instead of him calling to say he is sorry. And then sometimes he just doesn't call at all, for days.
I want off this rollercoaster and I don't know where to start.