I too have a special needs kid. He’s now 20 and doing things that I had never thought he could. I gave up my career to take care of him. His childhood was extremely difficult and i began binging when he was young. My life was very stressful and frustrating..., most of the time I was just sick with worry and I doubted myself all the time. I tried drinking to get relief from my worries and my thoughts, but alcohol clouded my thinking and made me sick and so I could cope even less than if I’d gone though it sober. I was kidding myself to think that it was the answer. Alcohol never makes problems better, it only adds to them. If you think otherwise, rest assured that your alcoholism is speaking over you.
Hang in there and get sober. You’ll deal with your son better and your relationship with him will benefit. I know that aspies relate differently, but trust and consistency are very important.
I wish you strength and resolve and I hope you feel better soon.
Bonnie