Good for you for getting it out- and especially for not drinking. You are not alone.
My youngest son has very mild aspergers, it sounds as if it is much more mild than your son's condition, but there have been times that I just thought I would collapse under the weight of the stress. We have made great progress with the help of a specialist that he saw once a week for three years. I recall the early days though, it was tough. I was still drinking during that time and it definitely made everything so much worse. I remember giving him baths and it was a nightmare. I was living in an apartment at the time and I was certain that my neighbours would call the police thinking I was abusing him or something. He would get hysterical, absolutely unconsolable nuts. I would pour a glass of wine to relax afterwards, and then another, and then the bottle..... Then he would wake in the night and I would make a bottle, not so attentive and sometimes would heat the milk too much... or too little.... because he had to have a perfect temperature..... and then all hell would break loose in the middle of the night because I had f'd it up again because I was drunk, and then I couldn't deal with the meltdown because I was half out of it.....
You know, he still has his own quirky stuff that I have to be aware of now, but I'm sober now and I can handle these things with much more finesse to prevent the meltdowns and then deal with the meltdowns with calm and authority when they come. I just couldn't do that while drinking and I am so sorry that I wasn't the mother my son needed at the time.
But like you said, it is good to remember how fortunate we are. Yesterday was my older son's birthday. I had a party at the house. This year he has made a new friend, Pietro. Pietro has very severe autism, nearly non verbal with many tics and frequent fits and outbursts. My older son has really connected with him though despite the barrier of not communicating verbally. They play at the park and find their way of doing what kids do. My son was really happy he was coming to his party and we had gone out and bought some duple blocks that evidently is Pietro's favorite thing to do. He was conscious of making a quiet space for him as he gets overwhelmed easily, so we set up a little spot in my bedroom with the blocks where Pietro could retreat if things got too much for him. Unfortunately Pietro didn't show up to the party. During the school day he had gotten upset and physically attacked his teacher to the point several other teachers had to come in and assist in getting him off of her and under control. The fact that my younger son won't let me take a picture of him, has a hard time understanding various emotions or melts down when I wash his hair (we have now gotten to the point that the bath part is ok) didn't seem so bad all of the sudden. To close, that is NOT to say that I/we/you should not ever get upset or have no right to get upset because some people have it worse, it is simply to reiterate what you pointed out, to remember how fortunate we are despite our individual challenges.