I'm glad you posted too - I think the things we face as sober people, no matter what they are, should be spoken about here.
I got to a point where I accepted that drinking the way I did could only make a bad situation worse.
From that point of acceptance on, lifes still been hard at moments but I've never seriously considered a drink again and never acted on whatever fleeting thoughts I had in the first few years.
I'm looking in from the outside but being a parent is tough I reckon, and being the parent of a child who has different needs must be even more challenging.
I'm glad that you can find support here, and I hope elsewhere too, to help fearlessat50
D