Originally Posted by Sasha1972

Me too - met ex when I was 13, got together as a couple when I was 18, married at 22, and left him when I was 45. It was not only a very long relationship, it was literally my entire adult existence, and went catastrophically bad.

I don’t hold any candles or torches for ex, but am still incredibly reactive to his presence (super-heightened vigilance, fight-or-flight response in very high gear). I attribute this to the difficulty of coming apart and de-attaching, which involved literally re-wiring my brain. No regrets though - marrying him was the right thing to do at the time, and leaving him (when it as clear his addiction and mental illness problems were accelerating) was the right thing too.