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Old 11-14-2018, 10:53 AM
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SmallButMighty
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Join Date: Jan 2012
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Originally Posted by dandylion View Post
Florence.…...I think that for people who have had a spouse in their lives since the growing up years....that the bonding is different than with those who have formed a romantic relationship with someone after adulthood.....because, that person becomes woven into the fabric of their lives in ways that are in addition to the usual romantic bonding.....a familiarity that never. really goes away...even if the romantic fires have faded or gone out.....
I agree with what Dandy said whole-heartedly. I also met my AXH when we were 14yrs old, we got together at 16 and stayed together for another 26 years. we grew from children to middle aged parents together. That's a pretty huge chunk in a lifetime. It definitely leaves it's mark. The first 20 years were mostly good... the last six... well, since you were married to an alcoholic, you know just exactly how the last six went...

Leaving my AXH was the most excruciating thing I have ever done. I'm years out and remarried but the echo of that pain lingers. My AXH is the father of my children, he will always have a place in my heart as such (even though at times he has been a raging jerk) But no matter how much we loved each other, by the end, we were toxic to each other. I can't ever forget that pain either. I wish I could. Like you, I learned to love from a distance, and over time even that love has evolved. It is no longer something that takes up my thoughts, it just something that is a part of me that I've stowed away. It helps that my children are grown and I do not have to interact with my ex.

I just wanted to let you know I understand what you are feeling.

*hugs*
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