Originally Posted by
Awal 
better they earn to pay for their drink...some steal pawn or deprive their family out of the fundamentals in life.
**I** earned more money while drinking and never deprived my family of a monetary thing. It was actually the total opposite. Now that I no longer drink I'm more 'careful' with my investments/income. I no longer take the 'gambles' in my companies, I would take when drinking. This works out 'OK' for me, since I'm not splurging/spoiling other's with my cash,but I have seen a decrease in my actual yearly profits. Plus side is I know where every penny is going now,so in a sense I have more financially,but it's no secret to my family/friends that I'm not the same person sober vs drinking.
I'll flip/pose the question and ask "who's the real person that's codependent?" Is there a real person 'in there' that's not trying to change or control the actions/outcomes/enviroments of other's as they(the codependent) thinks is best for all envolved? I'm not saying alcoholics/addicts don't mess up a relationship,but at the same time...so does a codependent. To **ME** a codependent is not really capable,without help/ self work,of having a 'normal' relationship to where there's mutual respect. An even playing field,if you will. **I** think and have witnessed codies(myself included) self sabatoge a 'normal' relationship for the simple fact that the relationship lacked chaos.
Just my thoughts.