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Old 11-08-2018, 09:54 AM
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alwayscovering
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Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: OKC OK
Posts: 414
Sobriety, Take 999,987,583

Okay so it's probably not been that many times but it surely feels like it.

I haven't been around much it's because I've been scheduling interviews like crazy and increased my hours at my part time job and it's a retail store so my hours are all over the place. Without a routine or schedule I feel tired all the time.

Everyone is still alive, I haven't stabbed him yet despite the strong desire to do so (don't worry I wouldn't give in to that desire)

I came here to ask how to talk to my kidlets. I read COD's post and lost my sh** Probably because after several weeks of sobriety AH decided to get wasted and was a jerk to pretty much everyone. When I was putting DS to bed he asked me if the reason daddy was being an @ss is because of alcohol. I told him yes. I was pretty sure he knew but I didn't know how to bring it up. Later I cried myself to sleep.

I don't think I handled the situation with AH well but I think I've already admitted that I really suck at that part. I feel like I gave him "rules" and that really wasn't my intention and I also feel like I was kicking him when he was down but dammit my kids and I deserve some peace. I told him that despite his attempt to hide his drinking the kids are aware. (I knew my SS was aware he's 16) I wasn't going to cover for him. When he's being a jerk I will tell them why. Can't hide it now-they know. I told him I don't want him to engage with the kids or attempt to parent them when he's drinking.(I have already told him this in the past. I think he needed a reminder) That if he's not going to go somewhere and drink he has to stay in the bedroom. He is not allowed to attend kidlet events as it's truly embarrassing to have to hope no one notices his bloodshot eyes and the fact that he reeks of booze. Apparently, he wasn't aware people could tell (insert giant eye roll here)

He's been detoxing the last few days. Says he doesn't understand why he's grouchy. Today he has flu like symptoms. I doubt it's the flu. He's also been complaining that he's been working out a lot and hasn't lost any weight. *sigh* probably all the empty calories from the alcohol, oh and the cases of lemonade he drinks when he's not drinking and all the junk he eats when he's drunk. Not to mention alcohol reduces your body's ability to burn fat.

I'm just griping. My plan to pay off my stuff was obviously derailed when I left my primary job. I just want to feel like I've got an out and right now I don't.
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