When I hit rock bottom , I nothing nothing else but the fact that I could not keep living like that anymore . The hardest thing for me to do was to get my mind together to get everything in order because I was an emotional mess. That is where my support system came in. A friend who had been in a similar situation prepared a to do list for me . I just got one small thing or two done slowly - whatever I could manage. A place to live and finances will be the most important thing unless you're in immediate threat of physical harm. Get all your important documents together and keep it at work or at a friends place. Try and keep the identity of these friends as anonymous as possible from him . Get an extra cell phone or changed your plan if you can without him knowing. That was the first place I went to after leaving - got out of the family plan and got my own. Keep extra set of keys for your vehicle ag work and an extra set of keys to the house. I was too scared to ever go back to get anything that I had left behind so I made peace with it. If you have a job, my recommendation would be to keep working and go for counseling. The grief is still lingering for me and my colleagues and work kept me afloat. I am not sure if you're married but if you are, you should have your lawyer on board from now on and keep her in the loop for everything. If you have kids, your safety and theirs comes first. Do the 90/90 for alanon and make those rooms your second home. I had 5 people come in and move all my stuff out while he was at work . There was no physical abuse in my marriage towards the end but the emotional abuse was unbearable. I left him a handwritten letter when I left but I wouldn't recommend putting anything in writing . I don't know his personality but anything and everything can be used against you if he decides to fight this . At the end of the day I realized that everything else was replaceable but if I lost my mental health , I would be destroyed and I came very close to self destruction. Support group, support group support group is all that I would say.