Thread: Hi there
View Single Post
Old 11-07-2018, 01:38 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
hopeful4
Member
 
hopeful4's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Hello and welcome!

Congratulations on your own sobriety, that is the most important thing you can ever do for yourself or your family. Well done!

I remember telling my kids to hate the disease, not the person before I divorced my X husband. I think honestly it just made them look at me like I was crazy. I mean, here is their own father treating me terrible, lying, etc. He was not always a mean drunk either, until it progressed and he was.

I think it's important to be age appropriately honest with your children and detatch and focus on them as much as you possibly can. Don't let this turn you into an angry, resentful person. That happened to me and caused my children just as much damage as his addiction did. I regret over and over. Luckily, we have been in counseling (children and I) for a long time and I have built a new relationship with them. However, they still know that for that time, it was always about their father, I did not put them first as I should have.

I encourage you to keep coming back, keep reading, keep sharing. This forum can be tough at times, so take what helps, and leave the rest!

Welcome again, I am really glad you are here!
hopeful4 is offline