This is so validating for me. I am getting through a nightmare of my ACOA mother and my functioning alcoholic father changing in mood and personality after they retired. When I was having a hard time financially, my mother took it personally, like it was a poor reflection on her and the way she raised me. They stopped visiting, and when they came for a long over due visit, they acted weird. Finally there was a blow up and confrontation, and both came out with a lot of judgment for the choices I have made in my life. It was so confusing because they were acting weird and would never come out and say that they were thinking so much negative toxic thoughts about me, because the family culture is we don't talk about hard things. It's like they are living on another planet. I finally found Al-Anon and am reaching out for more support, because we are barely talking to each other. Is one of the answers to just keep it to minimal and superficial topics with my parents?