MCESaint…...I can certainly relate to the complexity of the situation---especially, the dual diagnosis....I don't know if you remember, but I posted the story of my brother-in-law (who is a lawyer), and his wife, who is bi-polar, and his journey through the child custody and management of his wife's (now ex) illness. You might want to go back and read it..it was a long period of hell--like what you are going through...then a good ending, for all...
I have worked with many manic patients...within a hospital unit....and, have known several people who had spouses who were manic. One couple was a psychiatrist whose husband was bi-polar. Here is what many would not expect--that they were all, except for my brother-in-law and the psychiatrist, remained married...and, the two that I mention...maintained a supportive relationship with the ex...that was friendly and civil....
I will say, though, that none that I knew, on a personal level, had the added level of alcoholism. That certainly does add a level of complication that requires close management.
You may know this, but, most hospitals...especially the larger ones...have support groups for friends and families of bi-polar persons....as well as support groups for the bi-polar patients.
If you don't have a support group for yourself...I really suggest that you locate one. I consider support for yourself to be essential....your path is just too difficult to walk, alone....
Like everyone else, you have more strength than you know that you have...we never know how much, until bravery is the only option...
You might find the following web site useful (NAMI)
https://www.nami.org/