Originally Posted by
Hopeforme2014 
I need to learn that the only way I will never be out of control again is by never drinking again....ever!!!!
YEP.
I think you know how dangerous your driving is to yourself, and IMO more importantly, to others....and I think you know deep down you need to quit.
We can all share stories of horrible choices, close calls, etc etc - the bottom line is the only way alcoholics avoid bad consequences
and more importantly create and become receptive to good ones through our choices is by getting sober.
Today is a great day for a plan not to drink, NO MATTER WHAT. I started with an AA meeting and kept going. Please join us somehow in a commitment to stop your personal insanity.
That shame, regret and self-hatred can go away if you choose to make it.