Yeah that blackout stuff if crazy. Certainly that was a huge part of my quit. I also started to drive while blackout drunk. I mean, shouldn't driving just plain ole drunk be enough? Nope. I had to take it to a whole new level of insane, irresponsible, childish and just straight up wrong. I have a moral obligation to my fellows to at minimum not be a lethal weapon behind the wheel.
I used to say that I drank at home so I was just endangering myself. And that was true, sort of, for a while. But once the black out driving began, I couldn't stand behind that lame rationalization. I was simply dangerous.
I hope this is it for you. Get help. We all need it!!