I’m trying to learn, for myself, that in times when I’m feeling drained from being there for other people, I need to really think hard about what I want for me, what will make me happy, and how much I can handle. It’s hard, and I still feel guilty when I put my needs before other people’s, but I tend to get caught up in one-sided relationships (where I do all the giving). I stopped being there for a girlfriend a few years ago, after trying to have boundaries, after I’d already spent a year dropping everything for her whenever she needed me. I felt so guilty for changing things on her. Now I have health issues that are related to stress and I know that it’s not selfish and it’s very necessary for me to only take on what I can handle. I hope that helps. I get the sense that you are feeling conflicted and stuck in your situation.