Originally Posted by
akrasia 
Anyway, my point/question is: I am crazy about this guy but there is a hot-and-cold element that is hard for me and I don't think I'm in a good place about it. The PTSD (which lately is exacerbated by the steroids) makes him moody sometimes. He has even said that he doesn't recognise this indecisiveness in himself which he never had before the war.
This would be hard for anyone to take. Before I got into the co-dependent side of things, I started looking at my problematic relationships seperate from any substance abuse. I read some of Natalie Lue’s writings which were enlightening. Now I also recognize my unhealthy tendencies, exacerbated by alcohol, but I’ve learned that sometimes relationships are unacceptable without any “blame” on either side. Healthy is healthy, unhealthy is not, no matter the cause.
Take away your compassion and you are in a situation where you are on pins and needles waiting for the other shoe to drop. That’s tough. And you have every right to protect yourself, no matter his current circumstances.
I’m currently with someone who has terrible issues with his FOO. But where I’ve detached from mine, he’s still enmeshed in the drama of his. I’ve had to set a hard boundary there, and the truth is the relationship may not work out because of that issue. It doesn’t mean I don’t love him or that he’s not a wonderful person, it just means there is a limit to the crazy I’m willing to have in my life now. And that’s ok. I’ve worked hard for the peace I have.
Best wishes to you.
-bora