Originally Posted by
trailmix 
What's kind of implied but not stated above is that is actually the truth in childhood. You DO have the power to make your parents feel that way (in general).
I actually disagree with you on that part, about you do have the power to make our parents feel that way. We don't! Nobody can make anyone feel anything, it's their choice how they choose to reaction to behaviours. Yes people can be triggered by others, and feelings come up, but ultimately they can't make you feel it. This is the Crux of recovering from codependency is it not? Realising we are responsible for our own reactions, behaviours, feelings etc.
That's why the piece I read made so much sense. As kids we thought WE had that power over our parents, we didn't. They had the choice, their own power. We only ever had ours too.
Agree with what dandylion wrote.
And that is the thing. Most parents aren't in co-dependency recovery lol.
How you behave (or don't behave) has a direct impact on parents (this is a generalization of course, as was my original comment, there are other situations).
Yay! you made a painting at kindergarten, wooo you rode your bike without the training wheels (or with them, either way you are great!) Oh you got a B in math - etc etc.
This is normal stuff. If you didn't get that positive direct feedback from your parent or parents, where exactly are you going to get reinforcement? Childhood is a time where you don't have a tremendous sense of self (again, a generalization).
Then you start to have your own sense of self, become a teen, hate your parents and storm out of the house.
The problem starts when you don't get that feedback. You can sweep that floor all day and if your Mother or Father would just acknowledge a job well done, you would start to build that self-esteem. When that doesn't happen you just keep sweeping.
You also start to look to others for reinforcement.
This is all a very broad look at how I look at it, but there you have it, for what it's worth.