This is very true. I had such thought couple of weeks ago that all awful expierience and having this illness i may count as blessing in future. I m intuitive and have moments i just feel in my heart all will be fine if i do proper work. I just talked to friend of mine who said do not be so hard on yourself . You will make it . You just need patience as you are impatient and want all or nothing. Thank you. I would swap with you with days ahaha but i made up mess my responsibilitty is to go throgh withdrawals. Nobody put beer into my hand. I m so glad i m back here every day.