Sweetichick,
You sound pretty frustrated. Anyone who has been through four sponsors has certainly given the AA program a try. You are correct. AA does not work for everyone.
So if not AA then what can you do to maintain your sobriety? Maybe AA has a role but not as big a role in the recovery process for you. Perhaps as you said you can find an AA meeting you like and just show up at that particular meeting regularly? But just use AA as a supplement to your overall program of recovery?
I wish I was able to offer more but that's all I have. I hope you have a serene peaceful sober day.