SaveHer
I am sorry you are going through this and you certainly will feel the pain when your daughters privacy is being violated.
The only power however that your XA has over you is the power that you allow him to have. It isn’t easy no, one way that I have found to let things go before they drive me crazy is to write it down, and yes many times it has taken me several times of writing it down before I can let it go.
Many times however I do go back and read my journal and can see my own recovery progress! That is very therapeutic for me.
He is going to do what he is going to do. If it violates an order report it and move on.
IMO you are giving him too much power over your own emotions. Hard not to do I know I have lived it for over 20 years.
Hugs to you!