Fini, thanks for asking...
I'm kind of in a holding pattern. I simply posted the list of beginner meetings on the fridge. After the feedback I got here, I decided that I'm not saying anything about it. He definitely sees by the look on my face that I'm not happy, but he hasn't said anything at all about going to a meeting since the conversation at the beginning of the week. The night I originally posted this, he wasn't feeling well, and just said "I really don't feel good, I'm just going to lay here tonight...instead of going to a meeting, is that OK?" and I just shrugged and left the room. He's not mentioned going, since.
We argued last night, over the dog, of all things. She's a rescue, and she's fearful, we've had her two months, and she hasn't warmed up to him. It makes him sad that we finally got a dog and she wants nothing to do with him. however, I've made a half dozen suggestions about what he should be doing to try to help the process of getting her to trust him (I've worked with animals, and know quite a few behaviorists) "maybe if you tried this..." but he just keeps saying "it's never going to change." And I said to him, ""right. so like everything else, don't even bother putting in any effort." The conversation went in a circle, and I wanted to scream. Eventually, he said "fine, I'll do what you say, we'll see." and he went to bed. It went in pretty much the same way our conversations we have about his recovery. "I'm doing good! I don't need to do anything!" Me: "but don't you think you could be feeling better if you had some support?" Him: "I have you, that's all I need. I don't need to talk to other people."
so, obviously, that goes nowhere either.
My birthday is Tuesday, he texted me before "I have to buy you presents!" I said, "we really don't have money...and there's only one thing I want." (For years, every birthday, Christmas, anniversary, I've told him, "all I want is for you to be sober and happy.")
He said "a unicorn?" to which I responded "It would seem I'd have better luck asking for that..."