Originally Posted by cordeliatolear

So many pages in this thread. I've read most.

I have spent years where my addiction afforded me the ability to relapse, but those included everything....jail, etc. Still, sobriety was so painful that I was willing to trade the horrors of it for a couple of hours of relief. Finally, that stopped. Without the drama, I can't drink anymore.


I've spent years deconstructing the book, The steps, the people, the HP, everything. I have no interest in that anymore. There are a million contradictory postulates in the book, people's interpretation of them, and the concept of a participative god. I can't care anymore. When I drink very bad things happen in every single domain....health, relationships, legal, familial, etc. I absolutely wish you the best DD, but in my experience, you'll know when it's over. Recovery will be there then. Best