Old 10-04-2018, 06:27 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
Surfbee
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Join Date: Aug 2018
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Originally Posted by trailmix View Post
This is actually great. You saw what was happening and detached, that's terrific really. Not for the relationship, not for him, but for you! That's where that whole focusing on taking care of yourself kicks in and that's what you are doing and that should make you feel good.

You weren't in turmoil because you now know him getting that way has nothing to do with you really. That's where the no-contact can be so helpful. It doesn't have to be forever, that's up to the individual but taking time and space to get grounded is so important.

I'm happy for you.
aaaa....thanks ...nice to hear this... yes , initially before I went to my mum's there was a moment of "here we go again... okay so I'm going to stay in bed for the next two days..." but a little voice said no, go and be around people who love you and so it felt right to see my mum ... (even although I was slightly anxious about seeing family - because they can be quite unpredictable too lol - ) but I figured that I'd be able to handle them now by basically not rising to anything... and so we ended up having a nice time. I shopped online for a dress and had a nice bubble bath, watched stand-up comedy... journalled and read my new book... there was a moment where I thought to myself " hey I'm not crying inside ! I feel okay! " even my stepdad commented on how different I seemed in comparison to previous fall outs I've had with my ex.

And it's interesting how much easier the atmosphere was at home... when I don't react to family's frustrations .. life is a lot more simple and stress free !
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