Originally Posted by
Surfbee 
You know Liz... this makes total sense... he really started to get that stressy blamey way again a few days ago and I could feel myself feeling that triggered way... I could feel "the fog" again... and so I backed right off... I went home and stayed with my parents for a couple of nights and I felt all the better for it. I felt OKAY ... not great, but okay and calm. If this had been months ago I'd have been in turmoil.
This is actually great. You saw what was happening and detached, that's terrific really. Not for the relationship, not for him, but for you! That's where that whole focusing on taking care of yourself kicks in and that's what you are doing and that should make you feel good.
You weren't in turmoil because you now know him getting that way has nothing to do with you really. That's where the no-contact can be so helpful. It doesn't have to be forever, that's up to the individual but taking time and space to get grounded is so important.
I'm happy for you.