Hi LRM. There are other options, this forum being one. I quit drinking and have remained sober since Feb. 2017 using Sober Recovery, a handful of podcasts, and the occasional book (look up This Naked Mind by Annie Grace). Additionally, I've the mindset that I'm a non-drinker — there's never going to be a good time to drink again. That's just what worked for me, your mileage may vary. It sounds like you did experience some success with AA though; maybe try a different meeting?
I also understand your feeling about something being terminally busted inside. I eventually realized that I'm an okay person, though sometimes it takes effort to remember that. I hope you can find peace and personal growth through sobriety.