Moderation is a pipe dream if you are an alcoholic. It was a pipe dream for me anyway. What I really wanted was to be able to use/drink as much as I wanted without any negative consequences. When I drank it was for the effect. The more I drank the more of an effect it had on me.
It took me years and hundreds of vain attempts to prove to myself that it was all or nothing for me.
I have met a lot of people in recovery and I have yet to meet a single person that was able to moderate. I met a lot of people that tried and every single one of them failed. Not 99% failed...100% failed. Some people drank occasionally for a short period of time, but they all eventually went back out.
In fact, I had three sponsees last year that decided that they wanted to drink occasionally. Two of them got locked up later that year. The third one died.