Carl,
That is terrifying to lose total control like that.
I remember a few times in my life where I drank way too much, slept for just a few hours and then drove home/worked. Those could have been life altering.
Any time we drunks drank was an...anything can happen time.
Prayers for you. Booze having that kind of effect on a person is way up there on the horrible scale.
You might benefit from antabuse.
I relate to lamenting over what is going to happen. I used to obsess like that routinely every night and especially Fridays. It was my drinking that made it worse.
The problem is I still obsess, but it is way better. But, it took well over 2 years to really settle down.
I suffered to get this clean and that is why I am never drinking/drugging again.
Thanks.