Old 09-20-2018, 06:18 AM
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lessgravity
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,893
Watching myself drink vodka on a 9am train

As I write this I am on the train to work this morning. Sober as a bird.

As I took my seat, I noticed across the aisle from me a man about my age, who nodded and smiled at me before he took his seat. I watched to see him pull a half pint of cheap vodka out of his pocket. It is 9 in the morning. I noticed that the half pint was only half full. I felt great pain and empathy for the man. I knew the feelings, the conflict that must be raging inside him as he sat there. There wasn't enough vodka in the bottle. No way. And that's the thing about drinking. There's never enough. They will never be enough vodka.

I watch as he takes the smallest of swigs. Maybe his demons will quiet down for a minute. I remember that feeling. It was warm, familiar and safe. The world couldn't touch me after few swigs. But what crap. My demons would only quiet down only to come raging back.

I'm overwhelmed with gratitude right now. I'm free from that terrible prison, from the deep suffering, from the pain. I hope this dude finds a way out.
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