I'm on day 27 and I know if I have a drink it will eventually lead to me daily drinking again. I think this is a process most of us go through in the beginning thinking we can moderate because we don't want to let it go.
It is a nightmare hanging out till the day you allow yourself to drink, chains around your ankle. I've moderated before but it keeps the addiction alive and eventually leads back to the same path.
I hope you find success in your moderation attempts.