Originally Posted by
sweetichick 
I need to face up to life.
Not really. This is where you get tripped up IMHO. Let the world spin on it's own for awhile. A good long while. In the meantime, you need to get a good foundation of sober days under you. You do that one day at a time with a singular, focused purpose - don't drink. That's it.
Get sober. Sort the rest out later if it even needs sorting at all. It's impossible to tell what's what when you are in a constant fog of booze influenced chaos.
B