A lot of discussion in our community about “moderating” says that we can’t moderate. Well, I “could” moderate, but couldn’t. What I mean by that is that when I was still drinking there were times when I would only have one or two, and logistically couldn’t pull off secret drinking later, etc. So, technically speaking, I did have times, some of which were just occasional, and others which were longer, where I technically consumed somewhat “normal” amounts.
During those times, I still slept irritably, woke up sweating, impending doom, heart pounding, etc.
In fact, it was exactly this reason that I had a final realization that this affair was over. There is no hope for me and booze.
I think your sponsor is 100% right. We are not wired for a functional relationship with booze. To get away from those hellish “hangovers” I had to either ride it out and get sober, or drink again, only to feel chaotically drunk and rinse and repeat the seventh circle of hell hangover I’d get regardless of how much I’d drank. (Although the more, the worse for sure).
Getting sober was the most logical choice for me, when I finally realized there wasn’t a third or fourth option.