What a tragedy. Suicide is it’s own special loss, one which I understand too well.
It took me years but my terrible day - May 14 - is now a day of reflection on how I’ve moved on. It sounds weird but it’s like I was passed a very heavy baton on that day and every day after, I’ve gotten stronger from carrying it and I can be good to myself and those who I care about by not succumbing to the heaviness. And with time it gets lighter. One day at a time, adds up.
You did four months. You can resume. The class here is a very good suggestion. (Suggested above). It worked for me and many others here. Is that something you’d consider?