Gotta say, you are really doing good work. It isn't easy in the early days and you are making your way through it.
It gets better.
Make sure to give yourself some credit. For as much self-loathing that you've felt (I get it, been there) I think it's important for you to see that despite everything you've remained focused and firm on not drinking.
There's strength in you, or you wouldn't have made it to this point. I really hope you practice telling yourself & reminding yourself of that, it can give you confidence over time.
Keep going, it definitely gets better.
Best-
B