Congrats! What you're describing is totally normal, in fact, nearly universal for someone who suddenly stops drinking after periods of really heavy drinking. It sounds like you have, at least intellectually, grasped the problem. Drinking moderately will lead back to extremely heavy binge drinking on weekends...which will eventually turn into every day. Moderation doesn't work. Sounds like you've tried that and failed.
AA isn't for everyone. I am also not religious and despite the "take what you can and leave the rest," even very secular meetings feel too much like church for me. This is ME, by the way, it works for a lot of people. However, there are other methods and groups, and I suggest you browse through the secular forums to check out alternatives. Doing something more formal helps cement your chances of success.
There is nothing romantic about alcoholism, particularly as it gets more severe...and it will. The longer you are sober you will notice that it is actually relatively few people that get tanked at social events, most can have one or two and leave it at that. We can't. But you don't need alcohol to have fun, and you don't need to drink in situations where others are drinking. Nobody really cares if you're not drinking, btw, unless the whole point of the activity is to get drunk in which case it's boring as hell if you're not drinking.
Onward. Please keep checking in.