Hey, Sweeti. I'm sorry you're in such a bad way. I've been there, locked in my room with curtains drawn, not doing anything but drinking til I passed out, coming to and starting again. I wanted to die until I almost did--but my soul, that little spark deep within me wanted life. I went to inpatient rehab, developed a plan and leaned on SR a lot for support. AA has been very helpful to me in the past as well.
I had terrible neuropathy in my feet and hands, and as a musician this was particularly horrifying. When I stopped drinking it got better and had pretty much resolved in 6 months. Your physical and mental health will vastly improve when you quit the booze. I have problems with mental illness and don't feel my psychiatrist does anything for me either (I get the only seven minutes biz) so I'm trying to find a new one. Not easy, since I have a limited income but I will do my best with what I have. I never thought I could quit but now have 2 years, 9 months of sobriety. Life isn't perfect but it is good, and that's enough. You can do this!