Originally Posted by Buckley3
I have a very strong desire to be independent and autonomous. Combine that with a stubborn streak and, we’ll, you get the picture.
So yea, I now understand that much of my impulse toward drinking/drugging was a means for me to stick a big middle finger up to convention. Almost killed me.
I am the same, but I still stick up a big middle finger to convention. I just do it sober, which is actually more fun.
Originally Posted by Buckley3
I don’t want to lose my edginess and morph into something more docile, but I also dont want to destroy myself.
I can remember feeling this way. Actually it's where my screen name came from. When I was wondering this same thing one day to a friend, about whether I would morph into something docile, he said "You don't need booze, you are soberlicious"
I've realized through the years that edginess and passion don't come from a bottle. Anyone can drink, get drunk, act crazy...that takes no skill, no thought, nothing edgy about it. People who are authentically fearless in life, without any substances, now that's badass.