Thanks so much for all the responses. SR is currently my only support in all this, and you really came through! (And, yes, I'm working on getting more support, but that's another post.)
The overwhelming desire to flee responsibility keeps coming up in the responses, and I'm feeling like that's the central theme. I've spent most of my life avoiding a leadership position, but I've finally reached the "if you want something done right, do it yourself" point in my career. Now I find myself in a room full of people not only waiting for me to tell them what to do, but depending on me for their livelihood as well. Getting blotto with them at the end of the day relieves that feeling of responsibility, and makes me feel less like a "boss" and more like a coworker.
Combine this with a work environment where I can openly swig from a bottle of bourbon without raising eyebrows, and my waking up in my boss's bed (yet again) is a running joke among my crew... Well, it's seems pretty obvious why things have gone downhill.
MissOverIt--Travel adventures are definitely where it's at! Need more...
Nonsensical--Yup.
August--My son's 13. I have a great relationship with him, but don't talk about this stuff with him... or my past. As a child, adults telling me about all the drugs they did back in the "hippie days" definitely made drug use seem cool.
Hawking22--"I hate being the caring, loving individual I am now sometimes." Isn't that crazy? But I totally relate.