Aint,
I relate. I was a drinking mofo at 5 years old. I drank to get drunk at 5. That is crazy.
When I hit 38, I retired from the military and decided it was time to turn it up.
Rock star!
Soon I was having paranoid feelings and balance issues when sober. I was 50 lbs overweight and running BP of around 170/100 all day long.
Deadman walking.
I decided I didn't want to go down like that.
I put down the booze and started working out.
SR and the internet clued me in on all the hell involved with getting clean.
I made it 8 months clean when I was 27. The crave and a lack of awareness tricked me back.
Never again.
Thanks.