Hi Katman,
I got sober at 22 and by 24 had a job which involved a certain amount of entertaining and drinking. It was not easy, as I recall, to fit in initially and I rmember being very nervous about my first sales conference given what I had heard about sich events. I need not have worried. I would have spilt more on my tie than most of them drank, and the whole thing stayed very social. It was completely different to how I drank. I also took a leaf out of the AA book about how I should increase the pleasure of others at such events. I was much in demand as the sober driver for example.
But I get the main pont you ask about, making sobriety worthwhile. There is a professor of pschology, Jordan Peterson, on line who has a great many lectures and talks on line about this kind of thing and he has a tremendous following among young people. What you are describing it seems, is not limited ot problem drinkers, but much more widely spread among young folk today.
I can relate to what he says because of my experiences in AA. The fundmental thing seems to be to forget about happiness and fun as an objective and try to find some purpose in your life. Be the best you can be, do something noble, take some responsibility, clean you bedroom as a starting point. It is really powerful stuff and I cannot do it justice here. He also has a book out, 12 Rules For Life, which has become a best seller. It is not at all related to the 12 steps of AA BTW, but has reportedly been pretty life changing for young people looking for meaning in their life.
I got my semse of purpose through the 12 steps of AA, and it really did change my insides, the chaos of feeling being replaced with a sense that I am on the right track at last. Check out JP. I have listened to maybe 10 or 12 hours of his work so far, and I will be listening to a lot more.