I really don't think continuing to talk about this will make anything better.
Schredder, I am so sorry you are having a hard time. I had to block my XAH on FB as I did not want him affecting my life anymore. At first it was hard not to peek, but eventually it does get better.
Keep working on you! I think online forums are hard just like texting, you don't read anyone's body language and cannot see when someone is being nasty, or not. Sometimes things come out as unhelpful when they are not intended that way.
No one here wants you to leave. I do encourage EVERYONE to ignore anyone else not being helpful in their own recovery journey. However, this is an open forum and I hope you stick around and take what helps, and leave the rest.
May today be a good day!!