Hello Snufkin,
Sorry that you're feeling this way, change really is possible though.
I've found AVRT to be very beneficial alongside posting on here.
99 days ago I was on the verge of suicide, ready to throw the towel in and had a real killer hangover after a 4 day bender. I was in a personal hell but today I sit here feeling so much better and I’m looking forward to a future without alcohol. The Big Plan of Rational Recovery, which is a pledge of permanent abstinence, has made a huge and surprising difference to my life.
I received a copy of the Rational Recovery book where the back cover was a bit damaged. I expect new books to be mint so they are sending me another and told me to keep the damaged one. I have no use for 2 copies so would you like it? If so I'd be happy to post it today, free of charge.
Let me know and as someone has already said, drink plenty of water.
So, there is hope and I hope that you’re feeling better soon.
Take care,
John