Old 08-27-2018, 12:00 PM
  # 14 (permalink)  
FreeOwl
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
truth is.... I'm physically not as fit as I was when I was actively a binge-drinking alcoholic.... almost 5 years later.

truth is.... I went harder at fitness when I was a mess.

truth is.... I think I was pouring a lot of my angst and shame into working out.

truth is..... I used exercise as an obsession back then and it was probably a counterweight to my guilt and my burden of anxiety and depression.

truth is I used to run drunk, go to the gym hungover, run marathons while drinking.....

Now it's been a few years since my last ultra.

Truth is, I got sober and I also got engaged, remarried, debt-free, built a significant volunteer life, moved up in my career, had another child, got a few years older..... and I have less time to go as hard and less self-loathing to fuel my obsession.

So.... I'm maybe 10-15 lbs overweight. I eat pie. I eat bacon. I don't run nearly as much as I did. I'm super busy in my work, family, career and volunteer life.....

Truth is - I'm NOT as physically fit-looking and I'm NOT currently in marathon condition and I'm arguably out-of-shaper than I was.

Truth is - I didn't get sober to lose weight or get fit. I got sober to live my life fully, present, with meaning and with richness.

Truth is - I have all of that.

Truth is - I'd still like to be a little fitter and I'll continue working on the balance in life that will allow it, but I'm also OK with who I am and overall, I'm far healthier than I ever was when I was "Fit".

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