Hi WolfsChild
Deciding to restart your count is a personal decision.
Some people would, others would not, some have different dates for each substance...
I think the really important thing here though - even more important than how you count - is you recognise that you've been indulging in dangerous addictive activity for a while now...and keeping it secret.
I think the way forward rather than beating yourself up over it, that you do something positive about things now?
Having your husband hold the pills is a solution to one part of the problem, but I think you need to find other ways to deal with your mental pain.
I know you're no fan of doctors, nurses, therapists etc but maybe it wouldn't hurt to try and see someone?
You've come a long way in all the years you've been posting here - don't lose heart or courage now
D