Hi Valentinus,
After my husband passed and someone asked how I was, I would usually answer OK.
Well, OK meant...
*I took a shower today.
*I ate at least something today.
*I managed to walk to the mailbox and collect the mail today.
*I'm alive, I'm still vertical, I'm still trudging along.
I finally managed, with the help of a grief counselor, to get to a point where I could answer "good".
Please don't hesitate to seek IRL support!! You deserve whatever effort it may take to feel good with your life